Radical Self-Care & Collective Care for New Mothers

Let’s talk about self-care. Yes, you’ve heard it before—“put your own oxygen mask on first.” But let’s be real. Most of us struggle to do it. And for good reason. We have little ones (and others) depending on us, and we’ve been conditioned to believe that being a good mother means giving endlessly, often at our own expense.

But here’s the thing: self-care isn’t selfish. And it isn’t just an individual responsibility—it’s something that should be woven into the fabric of collective care. The truth is, we were never meant to mother in isolation. In many cultures, postpartum care is a communal effort, with family, friends, and elders surrounding the new mother with support. Yet, in Western society, so much of that has been lost.

Nothing can take away the deep sacrifices of parenting, but when we embrace radical self-care within a framework of collective care, we create a new model—one where parents are nurtured, not just expected to endure.

A Quick Note on the Bigger Picture

No amount of self-care will fix the systemic issues in our birthing and parenting culture. We need both personal care and collective change. So, while we fight for better postnatal support, let’s also hold space for ourselves and each other.

What is Radical Self-Care?

At its core, radical self-care is an act of self-love. It’s about recognizing that you matter too—just as much as your child. It’s about rejecting unrealistic societal expectations and reclaiming your right to rest, heal, and be nurtured.

But it’s also about rebuilding the village—because care shouldn’t fall solely on the shoulders of exhausted parents. When we take care of ourselves, we also create space to care for others, and when we ask for and receive help, we strengthen the web of support that should exist for every family.

No one will give you permission to care for yourself. Only you can claim it. But you don’t have to do it alone.

Your child will learn from you how to value and care for themselves.
What will you model for them?
Can you commit to one small act of self-care today?

If you need inspiration (because, let’s be honest, sleep deprivation is real), here are some ideas:

Physical Self-Care (And Ways Others Can Support You)

• Step outside—feel the sun, breathe the air. (Can a friend take baby for a walk while you do this?)
• Eat a nourishing meal with plenty of color. (Can someone cook or drop off food?)
• Get a massage (or do a simple self-massage). (Can a loved one gift this to you?)
• Move in a way that feels good—dance, stretch, swim, walk. (Can you join a gentle movement class with other parents?)
• Wear something you love. (Can someone do a small load of washing for you?)
• Take a nap. (Can someone hold the baby while you rest?)

Emotional & Social Self-Care (And Ways Others Can Show Up for You)

• Journal—let the thoughts out, no judgment.
• Notice your beliefs—are they serving you?
• Allow yourself to feel—without rushing to “fix” it.
• Practice receiving help. (Can you say YES to someone’s offer?)
• Say no to something that drains you.
• Connect with a counselor or support group. (Can you join a postpartum circle?)
• Call a friend—find your village. (Or let your village find you.)
• Laugh! Watch something funny. (Can someone send you a lighthearted podcast?)
• Seek comfort—wrap yourself in a blanket, listen to soothing music.

Spiritual Self-Care (And Ways to Connect with Something Bigger)

• Take 5 minutes to reflect—what are your dreams? What drives you?
• Define your family values—write them somewhere visible.
• Create a simple daily ritual—light a candle, express gratitude, say a blessing.
• List one thing you’re grateful for today. (Can you share this with someone?)
• Connect with your ancestors. (Can you ask an elder about their parenting journey?)
• Enter a flow state—meditate, sing, pray, dance, paint, move. (Can you do this in community?)
• Seek inspiration—books, music, TED talks, podcasts—whatever lifts your spirit.

Rebuilding the Village, Together

Radical self-care is about knowing your worth. Collective care is about knowing you don’t have to do it alone.

Let’s normalize asking for help. Let’s show up for each other. Let’s shift the narrative so that every new parent is surrounded with the love, care, and support they deserve.

Rebuilding the Village, Together

Radical self-care is about knowing your worth. Collective care is about knowing you don’t have to do it alone.

Let’s normalize asking for help. Let’s show up for each other. Let’s shift the narrative so that every new parent is surrounded with the love, care, and support they deserve.